Snowball fight ofDOOM!
by RemysQueenofHearts
Summary: This is a one shot I wrote for a contest on DA. Basically Sakura decides the Akatsuki need to be more fun and decides to have a snowball fight with them. ...Hidan's in the story thus the rating.


"WHAT?"

The feared members of the Akatsuki flinched at their "prisoner's" angry exclamation. A few of the braver…less intelligent ones went to go investigate, like Hidan. While the others, like Itachi, ran for the bomb shelter. The once fearless leader looked at the pinked haired girl warily.

"Sakura, may I ask what's wrong?" he ventured quietly. Pein sometimes wondered about the girl's sanity, but didn't dare voice his thoughts within hitting distance.

"It's snowing!" she said, throwing a hand towards the window.

"Yes…good observation skills…I knew we kidnapped you for a reason."

"Shut up! That's not what I meant and you know it! Jerk!" Pein smirked at the last part causing the pinkette to hit him. "I can't believe you guys aren't outside having…having…FUN!" she shouted, flailing dramatically.

"Fun? You're upset because the dreaded Akatsuki isn't outside making snow angels?" he said with a smirk as he tried not to laugh at her. He failed and barely dodged the punch thrown his way.

"YES! Can't you guys have a snowball fight? That's awesome and violent enough for you guys right?" Sakura looked to the members standing in the doorway for help.

"I've never been in one," Hidan said after a moment causing the girl to gasp in horror. Sakura glomped him and began to cry anime tears at the "cruel, snowball fight less life" Hidan has been living. She looked at Pein, who looked back with an indifferent expression.

"Come on Pein…don't be a _pain,_" Sakura laughed at his expression. Hidan, who had finally escaped from her death grip tried to smother his laughter and Kisame was just lol-ing. Deidara was at least intelligent enough to walk out of hearing range before doubling over with laughter. Sakura decided she could get another awesome pun in before he tried to kill her. "Don't… make me… get the …_pain_ killers," she said between fits of laughter. Tears began to stream down her face as he huffed and stormed off. Still laughing she pulled on her cloak while yanking Hidan out the nearby door, and yelling for the rest of the member to follow after.

Sakura looked at her victims…err…I mean…playmates? They were lined up and she was very pleased. Kisame, check, Hidan, check, Itachi with hot chocolate and dango… "What the hell?"

Said man looked up at her, "May I help you?"

"Err…I swear you didn't have that hot chocolate or dango with you earlier…must be going crazy." Hidan started laughing managing to gasp out "going?" before he started again. He started coughing from lack of air, but kept hooting and hollering anyway. She smacked him on the back harder then necessary and ignored the resulting death glare. "I brought you guys out for a reason…" she paused for dramatic affect, "Snowball fight."

"Snowball fight?" all the members questioned, the majority shaking their head in exasperation. Sakura nodded hers excitedly, opening her mouth to speak again…

"AHHHHHH!" she yanked Itachi in front of her. "GET THAT SWORD AWAY FROM ME!" she took another breath ready to start screaming again. Itachi decided to take matters into his own hands and planted one right over her mouth.

Lick…He yanked his hand away from her and wiped it on Sasori's cloak. Said puppet looked at him in disgust and wiped the spit from his coat and then proceeded to smear it into Hidan's cloak. "WHAT THE FUCK! THAT'S HELLA GROSS! Fucking Pinocchio…"

"AHEM!" Sakura glared at the aforementioned exchange, "as I was saying…"

"Sakura…it's just a sword," Kisame said soothingly. "Albeit one that eats chakra…and moves, but a sword neve-"

"Noooooo….it's a **pervert**…I see the way it looks at me!" the rosette proceeded to glare at the "perverted" sword she had dubbed Sammy. At that moment Sammy wiggled. It was the tiniest movement, one that could only be seen by a S-class nin on their best day. "SHANNARO!" This was all the warning Kisame had as she yanked Sammy off his back and flung (him? her? it? whatever…) onto the roof.

"What the hell?" he shouted as the psychotic pinkette danced in victory. Little did she know, however, that gravity and the snow-slicked roof had allied themselves with Sammy forming some sort of twisted inanimate object alliance. The sword slid off the roof landing coincidently behind her, standing on the tip of the blade.

Sakura froze and slowly turned around. Once she saw the sword, "standing" behind her, she screamed and flung herself at Hidan. "SAVE **ME**! With your mad snowball fighting, ninjaing skills!"

"Ninjaing?" Itachi said, quirking an eyebrow. He then decided that it would be too much trouble to question it and drank his hot chocolate. Itachi grimaced as he noticed he was out…

"I could if you would get on with the rules of snowball fighting. As I've said…I've never played in one before…" Hidan flinched as she gave him a bone-crushing hug. Crack. He gasped in pain/pleasure as she accidentally broke to of his ribs. Sakura immediately let go and began healing him, while words of apology streamed out of her mouth. "It's fine," he said lowly, then coughed and continued in his regular voice. "Is there a point system or is it," he paused as he noticed the weird look the pinkette was giving him," to the death?"

"No Hidan you just throw the ball of snow," She paused to help him make a snowball, "annnnnnnd…. that's pretty much it," she finished off lamely. Hidan made a lame snowball and threw it pathetically at Sammy. "NO! Use that arm and throw it HARDER!" Sakura yelled at him like a second rate drill instructor. " I AM NOT SECOND RATE!" All of the Akatsuki looked at her like she had just reached a new level of insane-ness, wondering whom she was yelling at.

Hidan was the first to recover, "Oh…" His eyes gleamed with excitement as he bent to make another snowball. The other members stood watching in jealous boredom. On one hand Hidan was getting special attention from the psychotic rosette. On the other they were having a snowball fight. 'Dear Lord why are we doing this.' All of them thought. Then Sakura began dancing around in excitement and they realized that was why. She had every single one of them wrapped around her finger.

Everyone was knocked out of their thoughts when in a flurry of snow Sammy was thrown back onto the roof and down the chimney.

"YES! Take that PERVERT!" The pinkette began to laugh psychotically. "Let's do this thing!" With that…everyone walked to try to find a spot.

Kakuzu finally made it to the single tree in their "yard", claiming the spot as his own. When Sakura's ever present laughter was caught off abruptly. "Hidan?" she asked timidly. Kakuzu and the other members turned towards her. Then his vision was clouded by white, cold, and pain.

Sakura and the other members watched in horror/amusement (Sakura=horror, other members=amusement) as Kakuzu's head was flung back by the sheer power of the snowball and smacked right into the tree, knocking him out cold. He slumped against it and was covered by fallen snow from the branches. Hidan's maniacal laughter filled the air. He made another snowball and picked out his next target. It was that movement that caused pandemonium.

Sakura screamed, running for the hideout. Hidan took aim and Kisame being the hero he was took the "shot" for her. He got hit in the forehead, knocking him out as he fell onto his back. Sakura shouted, "I'll avenge you!" as she continued to run for the door.

Sakura's scream alerted the leader, so he ran outside, saw Hidan's two, oh…there went Sasori... three victims and grabbed Sakura. "This way," he whispered as he pulled her behind a snowdrift.

Pein slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her scream of surprise. She licked it much to his disgust. Then he turned towards where Itachi was lounging with another cup of hot chocolate and a stick of dango. Sakura looked at the weasel in wonder and confusion. Then the worst happened…Deidara dove for the drift abandoning Sasori, who had gotten up again only to "die" dramatically. (Poor Pinocchio). Hidan's snowball of doom missed said blondie, hitting Itachi's dango and hot cocoa.

Itachi turned toward Deidara in the creepiest way, activating the sharigan. "You should have taken the shot, saved the dango, yet you betrayed it Barbie," he declared with as much emotion as he could muster. Which wasn't a lot since he's Itachi and is too cool for them. And Itachi being Itachi flung the oversized Barbie doll at Hidan. Said psychopath dodged the gender confused man, taking aim for his head.

"Itachi…don't throw other members," Pein said apathetically, watching Deidara slid into another snowdrift making it so you could only see his legs.

"Itachi!" I've come to kill you and avenge my clan!" A familiar chicken butt hairstyle and stripper clothes appeared.

"Foolish little brother…" Itachi said as Sakura made frantic "DUCK!" motions to him, not really concerned about his safety, but about ending Hidan's rampage of terror.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked confused.

"They kidnapped me,"

We kidnapped her," Pein, Itachi, and Sakura said apathetically at the same time. Sasuke opened his mouth to question as to why…

"JINX!" Sakura screamed at the nail gun happy leader and the weasel. "SUCKERRS!" Sasuke looked at his former teammate and secret crush with a WTF expression. He shook his head in exasperation.

"Ita—" BAM! Sasuke fell forward onto the drift Deidara was in, his duck butt hair now matted with snow. Sakura's soon joined in Hidan's maniacal laughter, as she rolled around with tears streaming down her face, gasping for air. "AHAHAHAHA!"

Tobi thinking it was safe bolted for the door, when Hidan came running towards him. Quickly changing directions he ran, arms flailing in the air, screaming like a little boy.

Sakura sat up and face palmed at Tobi's antics. Still chuckling she reflected over her decision to introduce Hidan to the game…She thought it was an amazing, hilarious one as she looked at the fallen Akatsuki members face down in the snow. Sakura watched Hidan chase Tobi, trip over Zetsu's "body", with amusement, then realized…she could get inside…she would be safe.

Pein was startled when Sakura jumped up and started running for the door. "Sakura," he called, slowly getting up to follow. To his surprise she jumped into the air, flipped while screaming, "NO! Every man for themselves! Take this PEIN!" The psychotic pinkette threw a bottle of _pain-_killers at him in a throw worthy of any S-class ninja. At the same time Hidan chucked another snowball of death. Both hit the leader, who dramatically fell to his knees and face planted. "AHA! It worked!" the rosette cried.

Sakura landed onto the roof and flipped into a conveniently open window. As Tobi screamed again she ran through the house locking all the doors and windows. She ignored Tobi pleas for mercy and help. The rosette whirled around to lock the back door and screamed.

There was Itachi drinking hot chocolate, with a stick of dango in his hand. "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU KEEP GETTING THOSE!"


End file.
